Fighting For You
by jamespotterdidntstrut
Summary: Mary/Benjy, horrible title, obviously involves fighting


_Before_

"You look handsome," Mary commented, standing up on her tip-toes as her fingers curled around the collar of his suit, pulling herself up to meet his lips in a soft kiss. "And special reason?" she teased, lowering herself back down to normal height as his hands fell lightly to her hips.

"Nope," he shrugged, a look of complete smugness on his face. "Thought maybe I'd head to a strip club, buy some drugs and shag a few random birds. That's a suit-wearing kind of schedule, wouldn't you say?" He smiled down at her, white teeth shining in the dim lighting of Mary's kitchen, right next to the door, flinching slightly as she swatted a manicured hand at his chest.

Mary rolled her eyes, turning away from him and towards the door, reaching out to grab his hand and pull him along. "Shut it you tosser. You're mental, you are." Benjy's low chuckle met her ears, and they both slipped through the door, laughing into the open night air.

_After_

The door slammed shut and there Mary stood with a flash of anger in her eyes and her hands planted firmly on her hips, face red with rage. She just needed to scream, to throw something. Without thinking, she bent down, kicking the shoe from her foot to wield in her hand like a weapon. "Sometimes I wonder why I ever agreed to date you!" She screamed, advancing on him with her shoe still in hand, limping slightly from the balance lost with only one shoe on. She swiftly kicked the other one off, not watching to see it hit off of the wall and bounce back sadly against the floor.

Benjy stood his ground, staring her small frame down with only a little bit of concerned fear in his eyes, mostly for the fact that her aim wasn't nearly as bad as it had been when they'd first begun dating. "Look, I told you I was so-"

"Sorry? SORRY? I don't care if you're sorry, I know you're sorry. I want you to be _safe, _Benjy, not _sorry."_ Her arm pulled back, and with a shriek of anguish she let the shoe go flying past him, hitting the window on the opposite wall and cracking it slightly, much to his shock. She could fix it later, she didn't care what was broken, as long as it wasn't him.

His hands fisted impatiently through his hair, and a loud groan escaped his lips. When he looked back up at her, he was just as angry as she was. Not so much at her, actually, not at all. He was angry that they were fighting, angry that he couldn't be there for her all the time because of the Order, and angry that there was a war going on at all. "Look, I didn't ask to be pulled out on a mission tonight, alright? It wasn't supposed to happen, I didn't mean to leave you on our date."

"Fucking hell, Benjy!" She yelled, tears welling up in her eyes as her frustrated emotions rose to dangerous levels. Running her own hand through her hair, she took a deep breath that was meant to calm her, but didn't work quite as well as she had hoped it would. "I don't _care_, alright?" Tilting her head back, she looked up at the ceiling and screamed, "I DON'T CARE!" Her hands still buried in her blonde hair.

He quickly made his way across the room, closing the distance between them in only a few long strides. His hands closed around her wrists and he gently pulled her hands away from her hair. But she didn't want gentle, she wanted to fight. She wanted to hit him for putting his life on the line like that, for being a reckless, brave, stupid boy. "Mary, calm down." His words came to her in a whisper that only fueled her anger more.

"I don't want to _calm down_!" She shouted, stamping her bare foot down on the floor and ignoring the pain that shot up her tendons with the action. She ripped her wrists from his grasp as slammed her tiny hands against his chest, pushing him back with as much strength as she could muster. "You fucking idiot." She shouted, stepping forward and hitting him again. "You're going to get. Yourself. Killed." The last word died on her tongue, hanging in the air between them like a cloud of toxins.

"Dammit Mary," he cursed, grabbing her around the shoulders and walking forwards until she was pinned up against the door she'd slammed. His grip was loose, too afraid to hurt her, but the gesture spoke volumes. "When are you going to get it through your skull that I am going to do this no matter what? I'm not going to just sit around my flat and watch as all my friends die!" His face was red, chest rising and falling quickly as he shouted the words at her without a second thought. At least, not until he saw the look on her face.

Her eyes stung with the familiar twinge that meant tears, and her nose twitched slightly as she inhaled sharply through it, trying not to cry. "Is that what you think then? That I'm just content sitting around watching my mates die?" Her voice rose with each word, and she quickly felt the tears of hurt turn to those of frustration and anguish as they spilled out of her green eyes with little to no notice from her. "Is that what you think? Because I fucking hope you know better than that. The only reason we're even fighting right now is because I don't want to see you die. You want me to join the Order?" She shouted, unconsciously beginning to stand on her toes to match his height. Her hands clamped around his dress shirt, dirtied with soot from the Order mission he'd returned from, and pushed him back from her as his hands loosened their grip further on her shoulders to keep from taking her with him. "Because if that's what it's going to take for you to think I'm _worth something_, well then fucking SIGN ME UP!"

"Mary," he warned, rolling his head back slightly to stare at the ceiling as if it held some strange answer to the world. He knew that his words were wrong the second they were formed in his mind, but he hadn't had the time to stop them. He certainly didn't mean them, but she wouldn't believe that. Not after she spent so much time thinking it herself. "I didn't mean you should join the Order, I just-"

"Shut up." She growled, in no mood to hear his apologies. He went out there and risked his life too many nights a week, fighting, killing. And he wouldn't even yell at her. That's what she needed from him, not a feeble apology for his words that were probably true, or for leaving her in the middle of dinner as per Moody's request. She wanted anger so she wouldn't feel so stupid screaming on her own. "What, you can take care of Death Eaters but you're too afraid to yell at me? I thought you were a _man, Benjy. So be a fucking man, tell me what you think. Tell me how you think I'm useless, a coward. Go on. SAY IT."_

_She watched as a redness spread from his neck to his cheeks, building up the anger inside him. "You want to know what I think?" He countered, voice low and dangerous as he grabbed her again, harder this time so she wouldn't get away. "I think you're fucking crazy, Mary!" Benjy shouted, no doubt frightening the neighbors to high heavens. "I think you're brave to know your limits, mental and perfect. A fragile little thing that needs protecting, but won't admit it. That's what I think. But not that you're a coward. Never a coward." He shook his head, swallowing hard as his voice lowered to a more normal decibel. "And certainly not useless."_

_Her lungs hurt from yelling so much, her throat was raw and raspy as she let out a small sob, quickly loosing her will to fight. She let her head rest against the hardness of the wall she'd been pushed up against, looking him down with consideration. She wasn't even sure why they'd been fighting in the first place by that point. Something about Moody showing up with him three hours after he promised he'd be back, telling her about how he'd nearly died jumping in front of him to bloke a spell, before Moody gruffly left her flat with no further explanation. It brought on too many feelings, too many thoughts of what she would have done had Moody come to say the same thing with a slightly different outcome. She couldn't yell anymore, she couldn't even think about it. If she could just bury her face in his chest and never let him go, that'd be alright. _

_Her eyes roamed over him, mouth staying shut of any and all screamed retorts. "You're bleeding." She commented, noticing a small cut along the slope of his neck that must have been there all along. The sight caused her stomach to twinge, made her hands itch to reach out and fix him. But she was angry, she wasn't supposed to want to fix him right now. But she did. _

"_S'fine," he shook off her comment, a hand letting go of her shoulder to cup over the gash. He'd had worse, that was for certain, but she looked so concerned he almost felt bad about it. Actually, he did feel bad. He felt bad for leaving her on their date, for telling her he'd be back and then making her wait at home for another three hours after he said he'd be there. He felt bad for leaving her all the time, knowing full well that one day he might not come back to her. But he couldn't stop or quit the Order, he just wished she would understand that. Deep down he knew that she did, and she knew it as well. The stress though, the stress of imagining Moody or Remus or Lily or James showing up at her door saying "Something's gone wrong." That was enough to kill them both. _

"_I hate this." She said at once, breaking through the sudden silence that had formed around them in a bubble of mental healing. _

_He took his other hand, the one that wasn't covering his wound, and let it run down her arm, enclosing her hand in his with a comforting squeeze. Benjy leaned forward, pressing his forehead up against hers as he let out a small sigh. "Me too, but you know I ca-"_

"_I know." She said, giving him a small nod. She understood completely. She understood his need to fight, his want to make things better and his aversion to sitting around while things needed doing. Most of all, she understood that one day he really wouldn't be coming home to her. _

_In this way, Mary died before Benjy ever would. _


End file.
